REMISSION
“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.”
- 2 Timothy 4:7 NIV
It’s been 110 days since I’ve been in remission. One hundred and ten days. 110 hours… 110 minutes… 110 seconds… it truly doesn’t matter because it all feels like a blur. Although 110 days certainly sounds like a great deal of time, it doesn’t feel like it. Honestly, it feels like the bandaid has been freshly ripped off. It feels like I am still fresh out of chemo and still baffled at the year I’ve had. Still incredulously shocked at my diagnosis and still perplexed by what it has caused me mentally, physically and emotionally. Still puzzled that the statement “I had cancer” is apart of my story. Baffled. Perplexed. Shocked. Puzzled. However, I am grateful.
GRATITUDE
I am grateful for the challenges that I’ve overcome this year. Grateful for the strength that I’ve shown to myself. Grateful for the strength that I’ve shown to others. Grateful for the love, the support, and the prayers; and grateful that “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” 2 Timothy 4:7 NIV
FAITH
I honestly don’t know where I would be today without my faith in Jesus. My faith has allowed me to persevere and fully rely on God for His strength and His courage. I don’t know what this journey would have looked like if I did not believe - believe in God, believe in myself, believe that I’d be in remission. BELIEVE THAT I’D BE CANCER FREE! Nor do I want to know. Disbelief is not apart of my story, faith is. Faith has carried me through this journey and will continue to bring me through each and every doctor’s appointment, check-up, cat scan, ultrasound, test and any “not-so-good day” that may come my way. So as I continue to navigate ‘life after cancer’ I will continue to rely on God’s faithfulness; however, this run of faithfulness is for the long haul. This run of faithfulness has no end date. This run of faithfulness is steady. As the late, great Nipsey Hussle has said, “it’s a marathon, not a sprint.”
Disbelief is not apart of my story, faith is.
- Cassie T.
THE MARATHON
So I’m in remission, now what? Well, now that I’ve been in remission for 110 days I realize that overcoming treatment is only half the battle. A major part of the battle indeed, yet, the marathon continues. I’m grateful to say that I’ve completed treatment and I’m in remission, but staying in remission and staying cancer free is also a great part of the journey - a part of the journey that may bring more mental anguish than I originally imagined. Nonetheless, I’m choosing to focus on the matters of today and not worrying about tomorrow, “for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.” Matthew 6:34.
As I continue to navigate through this journey, I’ll continue to share the ups and downs with you all. For now, I’ll leave you with some realizations that I’ve had within these past three months of remission:
You’re still important to your loved ones, however, to them remission may seem like a period at the end of your sentence rather than a comma. For you this journey continues, but for others, life moves on.
Your hair does not grow back instantly. I’ve seen a tremendous amount of hair growth in thickness but not in length. Right now my hair is stagnant but I’m giving her (my hair) grace, so we’ll catch up in another 3 months!
Your body is still tired. With time things may get better, however, as you recover your body still needs a lot of rest, relaxation & hydration. For me, at least 8 hours of sleep is required and even then I may need a nap!
Whether it be weight loss or weight gain, your body will not just “snap back.” Again, with time things may get better but, give yourself grace.
Side effects of chemotherapy may still occur. Chemotherapy is a very powerful, but toxic cancer treatment that may cause a plethora of side effects. With such high levels of toxicity introduced into the body, it is to be expected that certain side effects may linger or remain. For instance, doxorubicin is one of the most powerful chemotherapy drugs used to treat a variety of cancers, including lymphoma, so imagine the toll that it may take on one’s body. Although our bodies are resilient, they still need time to push these strong drugs out of the system; so remain strong and graceful throughout the process.
Please don’t hesitate to share this with a loved one, family or friend that you feel this may relate to & if this is relatable to you, please tap in + share your “remission realizations” that may strengthen me and others as we navigate these next steps.
