Finding Hope After Loss: A Letter to Those Grieving a Loved One

Embracing Grief and Fashion as a Path to Healing 💚💜

Dear Warrior,

First and foremost, I want you to know that I see you. I see your pain, your heartbreak, and the empty space where someone you loved so deeply once stood. I see how you struggle, not only with the loss itself but with trying to find a way forward, a way to live in this new world without them and if you’ve been trying to put on a brave face, trying to push the grief aside so that you can keep going, I want to tell you it’s okay to feel everything.

In 2021, I lost my mum to pancreatic cancer. It’s still hard to even write those words. You never expect cancer to come into your life in the way that it does - but when it does, it changes everything. For me, it wasn’t just about losing her to the disease, it was about losing the one person who was there through it all - every joy, every hardship, every life milestone. I lost my cheerleader, my confidant, and my biggest source of inspiration - but in the midst of this heartache, I found something that helped me through, something that allowed me to keep going: fashion.

My mum and I shared so much, but one of the most important things we bonded over was clothes. Vintage clothing, to be specific. She was the one who taught me to appreciate the value of a piece, the story it tells, and how to make it mine. After she passed, I found myself holding onto her old clothes, and as time went on, I started wearing them again, not only because I missed her but because I needed to feel connected to her in a tangible way. These clothes weren’t just fabric. They were memories. They were pieces of her that I could carry with me every day. Each time I styled one of her vintage pieces, I felt like she was right there with me, offering a piece of her guidance, her love, and her strength.

I know you may not have that same connection to clothes, but perhaps you can find something that allows you to keep their memory alive, something that feels like a piece of them that you can carry on your journey. For me, it was fashion. I used the act of styling myself to transform my grief into something beautiful, something empowering. I began creating fashion content, and with each post, I felt like my mum’s spirit was leading me through this path. Through my outfits and the memories embedded in the fabrics, I felt her presence in ways I couldn’t explain. In those moments, I wasn’t just dressing up; I was healing.

I want to share with you that, even in the deepest moments of sorrow, it’s okay to live. It’s okay to feel down and miss them. It’s okay to take a step back and let yourself breathe; but here’s what I’ve come to realize: they wouldn’t want you to give up. They would want you to continue living your life, to chase your dreams, to make your mark on the world, and to share the love and lessons they gave you. It’s what they would want for you, and it’s what I believe my mum would want for me.

On this journey, I’ve also been blessed to have my cousin, Cassie, by my side. Cassie has been through her own battle with cancer, and she’s now in remission. She and I share a bond unlike any other because, though our journeys are different—hers with cancer, mine with a parent who has battled cancer—we’ve both had to navigate the depths of what cancer does to a family. Our shared experiences have brought us closer than ever, and as we look forward to 2025, I know there are many more powerful things ahead for the both of us.

Together, Cassie and I are creating new memories, new milestones, and new dreams. We know that our loved ones, who are no longer with us, are still cheering us on. And we carry them with us in everything we do.

I want to remind you that even as you grieve, you are not alone. Your loved ones are still with you. In whatever form that connection may take, whether it’s through the signs they leave for you or the memories you cherish, you are constantly surrounded by love. For instance, I see ladybugs everywhere that I go, which is undoubtedly a sign that my mum sends to me; I’m sure you also have your own unique signs that your loved ones send to you. Trust those signs. Know that they are still guiding you and rooting for you.

Lastly, I want to leave you with this: It is okay to grieve. It is okay to have hard days - days when the weight of loss feels unbearable. But never forget that your loved ones want you to live. They want you to shine. They want you to continue forward and fulfill your purpose, just as they would have had they been here with you.

Embrace your journey, however it looks, and know that through your grief, you will find strength, purpose, and love that will carry you through. And if you ever need to lean on someone, know that I’m here, just like Cassie is here. We’re all in this together.

With love and light,

Monique

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You can follow my journey on Instagram: @Mo.the.rose 🌹 or stay updated with my latest posts and insights on fashion and healing. And remember, you are loved, you are supported, and you are never alone on this journey.

Here’s a preview of some of the fashionable, vintage pieces Monique has put together from her mum’s closet: